Dads, stepdads, partners and other important male carers can play an important role in a child or young person’s life. Understanding who these men are, the relationship they have with the child/young person and the contribution they make should always be part of understanding the child/young person’s wider family network and day to day life.
Working with dads and male carers is an important part of everyday practice to keep children and young people safe and well. Local and national learning when a child or young person has been seriously injured or has sadly died, where abuse or neglect is suspected, has found that men can sometimes become ‘unseen’ by services because of limited engagement and curiosity, an over-focus on mums, and gaps in information sharing. This can mean practitioners miss both potential sources of support and protection and potential risks to children and young people.
Positive, early involvement and father-friendly approaches can improve working relationships, while assumptions about dads can result in important information being missed.
Why involving dads and male carers is important
It helps us understand the child/young person’s world
Knowing who is important to a child/young person helps practitioners build a more complete picture of their relationships, family network, and day-to-day experiences.
Ask children, where appropriate, about the important men and the role they play in their lives rather than relying solely on information provided by adults.
Dads can be an important source of support and guidance
A father or male carer may provide care, stability, emotional and practical support and a positive role model to a child or young person. Where relationships are safe and positive, involving them can increase support to the child/young person and their mum, so that mums aren’t expected to do everything to meet their child’s needs.
It can help practitioners identify and understand strengths, risks and harm
Working with dads and male carers does not mean assuming that their involvement is safe. Understanding each man’s history, circumstances and relationship with the child/young person helps practitioners assess what the strengths are, and whether the man poses a risk to the child/young person or is harming them.
Dads need help too
Dads and male carers may be experiencing difficulties with their mental health, physical health, relationships, housing, finances, drug or alcohol use or other areas of their lives. Understanding and responding appropriately to these worries or needs can be important for the safety and wellbeing of the whole family.
Top tips for involving dads and male carers
Identify who the important men are
Consider:
- biological dads
- stepdads
- partners
- dads who live elsewhere
- separated dads
- granddads
- adult brothers
- uncles
- male family friends
- any other men who are in touch with the child/young person or who help care for them
Contact dads and male carers directly
Communicate directly with dads and male carers where this is safe. Don’t rely on another parent to:
- pass on appointments
- explain what is happening
- share the father’s views
- tell you whether he wants to be involved or not
Make sure that you gather contact details for dads and male carers so they can receive invites and information themselves.
Start the conversation early
Involve dads from pregnancy onwards and as early as possible when children and families receive support.
Explain:
- why you want them involved
- what your role is
- what will happen next
- what you need from them
- how their views will contribute
Stay curious
Keep an open mind and avoid jumping to conclusions too quickly – preconceived ideas about dads and male carers can influence whether they are involved, potentially leading to important information being missed.
Instead ask open ended questions to understand the situation better, for example:
- How would you describe your relationship with your child?
- What do you like doing together?
- What do you love most about your child?
- What do you think is going well for your child?
- What are you most proud of as a father?
- What are you worried about?
- What are your best hopes?
- What do you think needs to change?
- What would help you as a parent?
- Who else loves or cares about your child?
Be flexible
Work, transport, other responsibilities and previous experience of services can all affect how well dads work with services.
Where your service allows it, consider:
- different appointment times
- telephone or online contact
- alternative meeting locations
- contacting dads separately
- meeting parents separately (e.g. where there are risks to the other parent)
Consider barriers
If practitioners find a dad or male carer ‘difficult to engage’, consider what is getting in the way? Think about how barriers can be overcome rather than putting the onus solely on the dad or male carer to engage with services.
Always hold safety in mind
Father inclusive practice does not mean involving a dad or male carer without considering safety. Where there are worries about domestic abuse, violence or other types of harm, practitioners should consider whether and how to work together safely.
Think about the safety of:
- the child/young person
- the other parent/carer
- family members
- practitioners
- the dad or male carer himself
Separate conversations or meetings may sometimes be needed. Joint visits may also help increase safety.
Support for dads and male carers in County Durham
Support for Dads and Dads-to-be provides information on courses and groups for dads in Durham, healthy babies, and emotional wellbeing support for parents and parents-to be
Support for young dads: Delivered in partnership with the North East Young Dads and Lads Project, this initiative provides free 1-to-1 mentorship, group support, and skills workshops for young fathers and dads-to-be aged 25 and under (contact via text/phone at 07990 164 449 or email info@neydl.uk)
Dad’s Stay and Play: Informal, fortnightly drop-in sessions hosted by Durham County Council Family Hubs for dads, grandads, uncles, and male carers with children up to reception age, featuring activities and free refreshments
Durham Dads Together provides informal meetups for dads and dads-to-be, with opportunities to meet other fathers and discuss areas such as bonding, managing stress, supporting partners and child development.
Find courses and groups for dads in County Durham
Support for practitioners working with dads and male carers in County Durham
County Durham Dads and Male Carers Project Group
County Durham Family Hubs and partners are committed to improving outcomes for children by increasing the engagement, participation and support available to dads, male carers and other important males. Through the County Durham Dads and Male Carers Project Group, partners work together to promote father-inclusive practice, improve services and ensure that dads and male carers are recognised as important people in children’s lives.
Practitioners are encouraged to consider how they involve dads and male carers throughout assessment, planning and intervention, whilst always maintaining a focus on safety and wellbeing.
Dads Champions Network
The Dads Champions Network supports practitioners across County Durham to embed father-inclusive practice within their teams and organisations. Champions receive training, resources, updates and opportunities to share good practice with colleagues. The network aims to improve how services identify, engage and support dads and male carers.
Practitioners interested in becoming a Dad’s Champion can contact the Dads and Male Carers Coordinator for further information.
Dads and Male Carers Coordinator
Craig Williams is the Dads and Male Carers Coordinator for County Durham Family Hubs. The role supports practitioners and services across County Durham to strengthen father-inclusive practice through training, consultation, partnership working and workforce development.
This includes delivering Dads and Male Carers training, coordinating the Dads Champions Network, leading the County Durham Dads and Male Carers Strategic Group and supporting organisations to improve engagement with dads and male carers.
For information, training or support relating to father-inclusive practice, practitioners can contact Craig Williams via County Durham Family Hubs: dad@durham.gov.uk or contact Craig directly: Craig.williams@durham.gov.uk
Additional information
NSPCC Learning: Unseen men draws together learning about fathers, male carers and male partners who can become overlooked by services. It highlights professional curiosity, information sharing and identifying men’s roles in children’s lives.
The national review The Myth of Invisible Men examines safeguarding babies under one from non-accidental injury caused by male carers and includes learning about understanding men’s lives, engaging fathers, information sharing and service design.
Fatherhood Institute: resources for practitioners provides evidence and resources for practitioners across areas including health, education, safeguarding and diversity, with a focus on making services and systems more father-inclusive.