Parents and carers understand what their children need better than anyone. Supporting them by sharing goals helps them to get better outcomes for all. Sometimes, however, when parents argue and disagree, it gets in the way of children getting what they need, like love and security. Children often can not understand why their parents argue. We would like to see family members finding better ways of managing their disagreements.
Children need help to make good choices in life but sometimes that does not happen. Everyone needs to work as a team, make sure they have a clear job, and make things better by supporting each family member. Working together with partners will mean less duplication for the family.
Sometimes children and young people can display abusive and violent behaviours towards parents and carers. This can be done with intent or as an emotional response without intent. We know that sometimes parents and carers often do not talk about this, or they sometimes do not give a full picture of what they are experiencing for fear it’s their fault and/or they do not want to get their child into trouble. This can really impact on siblings too and leave families living in homes that do not feel safe and secure. It is important that we let families now that they are not alone in this and that there is help and support available for them and their child or young person that does not place blame on any of them.
For many children and young people, childhood is a carefree time where they feel supported by their parents/carers and are able to spend their time exploring and playing. However, for some young people, circumstances mean that they are required to adopt a much more adult role and are a ‘young carer’. Having caring responsibilities can be really difficult for some young people. Research shows that young carers can feel stressed or anxious, miss school, have limited time to spend with their friends, and feel they have to limit their plans for their own futures. There is support available for young people in this position which helps to balance their responsibilities and get the support they need and realise their own potential.
Information sources
- Advice in County Durham
- Durham Carers InfoPoint: young carers
- Durham Safeguarding Children Partnership: Relationships Matter (Reducing Parental Conflict)
- Durham Safeguarding Adults: good practise guide for professionals
- Relate